The $20m man upsets England players with flirting

Sir Allen Stanford has apologised for larking about with England’s WAGs during their Super Series win against Middlesex on Sunday.

Stanford was shown on the big screen with Matt Prior’s pregnant wife Emily on his lap.

“He understood that the players were not particularly pleased with the incident,” said a Stanford spokesman. “He called both Kevin Pietersen and Matt Prior personally and they have accepted his apology.”

Oh, shut up, KP - by accepting the Stanford challenge, you and your team must also accept that you are Sir Allen’s little bitches. He OWNS you all. So if he wants to flirt outrageously with your partners, that’s his right. Haven’t you ever seen Indecent Proposal?

England bowler Stuart Broad said: “It was an interesting point when the pictures came on the big screen - there were a few gobsmacked players. I was bowling at the time but Matt [Prior] had a bit of shocked look on his face, especially as his wife is pregnant.”