Who’s the hippy playing for Newcastle?

Long regarded as the most straight-laced, moist-handed and timid rugby player of all time, Jonny Wilkinson’s weekend makeover was a drastic move. One akin to your granddad buying a leather jacket and some shades.

The emergence of a younger, hipper fly half, Danny Cipriani, has no doubt rocked the Wilkinson camp, clearly to the point of employing some kind of stylist to moisturise him back into the nation’s hearts. But will it work? Polite Applause certainly thinks so.

After all, remember, Sebastian Chabal - France’s bearded Rasputin-alike? He was once just another smooth faced rugby player, who no one even wanted to speak to. But once decked out with a fake beard and a wig, and hey presto! The guy’s a national treasure.

We await Cipriani’s style retaliation with baited breath.