Cheeky Girl, Busty Girl

Well, it’s official, good looking people can only go out with other good looking people. Actually, we’ve known that ever since Julia Roberts dumped that gargoyle-faced country singer a few years ago. And now, Kelly Brook has ended all speculation about who might be next on her mating list by plumping for England’s alpha male, Danny Cipriani - he’s a handsome bastard.

The pair have been playing cat and mouse with the paparazzi for a little while, but they’re on about date nine or something now, and as everyone knows, that means they’re definitely “going steady”. Bad news for Billy Zane, great news for Cipriani, who’s sporty profile could soon sit somewhere alongside Beckham, with Brook playing the role of rugby union’s “Posh”.

It could have been so much different - not so long ago, Cipriani was known to be dating one of the buck-toothed Cheeky Girls from Transylvania. Hmmm…